Why am i still alive?

i can't take living anymore. i'm just a useless piece of **** and i'll never be anything more than failure. why haven't i killed myself yet? why can't i gather the courage to do so? i know that nothing will ever get better, but i still have a tiny glimpse of hope. but why? i'm 15. my mom's dead. i have no friends and never have. i've been homeschooled my whole life and i'm behind in EVERYTHING. i'll never graduate high school. i have no social skills. i stay cooped up in my room all day on the computer and never do anything. i have no one in my life except for my father. my stepmom's an evil ***** that verbally and sometimes physically abuses me. i'm ugly, fat, and bulimic. i've been to therapists, taken antidepressants...nothing helps. i have no motivation to live anymore. i can't even get out of bed. i just sleep all day and stay up all night. i HATE myself. i hate living. i hate it. why can't i just die already? why do i have to be such a coward? sorry...i just needed to vent. ugh.